Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Star Trek: The Mockable Picture
This is the text of an email I sent to an old friend of mine. In highschool we were trekkies, going so far as to send a letter to the editor extolling the virtues of the original series when a review of the first movie mocked the whole concept. Roddenberry did have some important points to make about the Vietnam war, race relations, religion, etc. And ST gave him a venue that the moron censors couldn't see past. Anyway, not a trekkie any more. Those days are long gone. But I am a science fiction and fantasy aficionado, and a lover of movies. On with my review......
So...I saw it yesterday.
Well.
Well.
My reaction to ST was not positive. It was "This is stupid."
There's just a level where you have to at least pretend to make some sense. And they lost me early on.
I did like the McCoy character. He did a great job and it was well written. Too bad he disappeared half way through the movie. I guess they couldn't figure out how to make him a counselor throughout the action.
I think they lost me with the boat throttle controls and Sulu's complete fuck-up at the helm when they first tried to "punch it" to Vulcan. At least they didn't have the engine clunk sounds they had in ST 4 TSFS. But they did have smoke in space later on. Ug.
They had the drill thing. Ug. You couldn't just create a black hole next to the planet?
They had the space jumpers who magically didn't have to deal with the atmospheric heating (which they did use later on for another type of scene).
I love time travel stories. But when they are used for convenience.....ug. Again.
I liked the Scotty character too. But why did they put him in that tube of water? What did that do? And it was a little weird that at one moment he was being punished on some remote outpost, and then suddenly he's in charge of engineering......I guess, like the chief med officer, the chief engineer got killed? Nobody else on board?
The whole Uhura-Spock thing didn't bother me. It was just pointless. I don't think it revealed anything about his character that the destruction of his planet/death of his mother couldn't have. If you're going to have this, then let's see some skin (guess I'll have to wait for the DVD version).
Let's see....oh yeah, all of Vulcan takes few moments to be sucked into the black hole. But the evil ship takes, oh, 5 minutes. And keeps fighting. I know. Drama. Well, they'd lost me completely by that point. I was checking my watch out of boredom. That's right. Boredom.
So, it wasn't that they violated any ST thing that I cared about. Well, other than Roddenberry was trying to do something serious-ish. It was that the story was silly. Actually, no, the story was no more silly than things that have come before. The story was contrived. Not natural. Not a story. It was a setup. I want more out of a movie. In the end, I equate that effort to a Saturday morning super-hero cartoon. Or Spock's Brain. Or the Undiscovered Country. I'll even put the original movie up against it. And as for science fiction....it wasn't even fantasy. It was ... I don't know what it was....just making money I guess. Congratulations to them: they are rich and I'm not.....shows you what I know.
But then, I'm an old fart-trekkie who went in with low expectations. But it's a damn good thing I didn't go in with high expectations.....I would have wanted my money back.
So there. ;-)
Whatever. There's lots of really good SF out there. I'll go watch that. But I had to see this movie, given all the hype and my trekkie past. I won't be seeing the next one.....you know, the remake of Spock's Brain.
So...I saw it yesterday.
Well.
Well.
My reaction to ST was not positive. It was "This is stupid."
There's just a level where you have to at least pretend to make some sense. And they lost me early on.
I did like the McCoy character. He did a great job and it was well written. Too bad he disappeared half way through the movie. I guess they couldn't figure out how to make him a counselor throughout the action.
I think they lost me with the boat throttle controls and Sulu's complete fuck-up at the helm when they first tried to "punch it" to Vulcan. At least they didn't have the engine clunk sounds they had in ST 4 TSFS. But they did have smoke in space later on. Ug.
They had the drill thing. Ug. You couldn't just create a black hole next to the planet?
They had the space jumpers who magically didn't have to deal with the atmospheric heating (which they did use later on for another type of scene).
I love time travel stories. But when they are used for convenience.....ug. Again.
I liked the Scotty character too. But why did they put him in that tube of water? What did that do? And it was a little weird that at one moment he was being punished on some remote outpost, and then suddenly he's in charge of engineering......I guess, like the chief med officer, the chief engineer got killed? Nobody else on board?
The whole Uhura-Spock thing didn't bother me. It was just pointless. I don't think it revealed anything about his character that the destruction of his planet/death of his mother couldn't have. If you're going to have this, then let's see some skin (guess I'll have to wait for the DVD version).
Let's see....oh yeah, all of Vulcan takes few moments to be sucked into the black hole. But the evil ship takes, oh, 5 minutes. And keeps fighting. I know. Drama. Well, they'd lost me completely by that point. I was checking my watch out of boredom. That's right. Boredom.
So, it wasn't that they violated any ST thing that I cared about. Well, other than Roddenberry was trying to do something serious-ish. It was that the story was silly. Actually, no, the story was no more silly than things that have come before. The story was contrived. Not natural. Not a story. It was a setup. I want more out of a movie. In the end, I equate that effort to a Saturday morning super-hero cartoon. Or Spock's Brain. Or the Undiscovered Country. I'll even put the original movie up against it. And as for science fiction....it wasn't even fantasy. It was ... I don't know what it was....just making money I guess. Congratulations to them: they are rich and I'm not.....shows you what I know.
But then, I'm an old fart-trekkie who went in with low expectations. But it's a damn good thing I didn't go in with high expectations.....I would have wanted my money back.
So there. ;-)
Whatever. There's lots of really good SF out there. I'll go watch that. But I had to see this movie, given all the hype and my trekkie past. I won't be seeing the next one.....you know, the remake of Spock's Brain.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Last Day at the Beach
photo: A Reid
"How long now?"
"About 35 minutes."
"I have to get the clipping."
"I'm glad he's not here for this."
"Me too."
"Do you think it will be fast?"
"Yes."
"Immediate?"
"I guess. It's very big."
"We can't go somewhere?"
"Nowhere to go. Not in time."
"I'm glad he's not here."
"Me too."
"Have you had fun?"
"Some. You?"
"Yes. Some."
"Let's go sit in back. I don't want to watch the water."
"OK."
"How long now?"
"About 20 minutes."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"I'm glad he's not here."
"Yeah."
"Want a drink?"
"No. Yeah. Just water."
"OK."
"That was a good day."
"Yes. He was so happy."
"Yeah. Happy. I'm glad he's not here."
"Yes."
"There are no birds."
"They left."
"I wonder if they can go far enough."
"I don't know. I doubt it."
"Why?"
"It's big. Very big."
"Oh. How long now?"
"Couple of minutes. Or so."
"Or so."
"He looks happy in that picture."
"Yes. Happy. He was happy that day."
"I'm glad he's not here."
"I wish he was here. I'd like to say goodbye. Again."
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Special Place in Hell
On Sunday night my house started talking to me.
More accurately, early Monday morning, around 2 AM, there was a sudden BEEP and then what sounded, to my sleep stopped mind, like a walkie-talkie transmission. It was something like "bwat pardada mishoogogo." And it was loud.
I think I had been dreaming. Dreaming a disturbing dream. Now, I was awake, sort of, and frozen. What the hell was that.
I got up to see if there was a cruiser in my driveway. Ready to take me away.
Nothing.
Nothing the garage.
The TV was off.
So. I went back to bed. No doubt just a vivid dream sequence.
25 minutes later I was startled awake by the same thing.
45 minutes after that.....again.
I had no idea what was going on. I was exhausted and confused. I suspected the smoke detector, but couldn't figure out what was happening. Of course now I was smelling gas and hearing noises. Crap.
I turned on the ceiling fan in the living room and closed my bedroom door.
Sure enough, a little while later (time was now irrelevant), I could hear it again: "BEEP bwat pardada mishoogogo".
And that was it.
I work at home, so expected to hear the same thing during the day if it was the smoke detector complaining.
Sure did too. At 1 AM.
This time I got up and waited until I heard it again. Yup. The smoke detector. What it was actually saying was "BEEP battery low " and then the french for that. I couldn't make out the french.
So, no problem, I'll change the battery.
3 problems.
1. The detector is on a vaulted ceiling, out of reach of a simple chair. The ladder is frozen, in the garage. No matter, I'll stretch.
2. The battery cover doesn't just open....it seems to be locked into place by the hard-wiring cover. I can just pry it a little.
3. Now that I've pried the cover up a little, I can see it's a 9-volt battery. To the battery drawer! Yeah. None of those. And not a single device in the house takes a 9-volt except that bloody detector.
Next evening.
Ladder brought inside in the morning so it's warmed up. Battery purchased from CDN tire. Cover pried up enough to coax the battery out and replace it.
Now I wait. I wait for early early in the morning. If it decided to complain about bwat pardada mishoogogo tonight, I have my wire cutters handy.
There is a special place in hell for the people who would have this go off in the middle of the night, and have no way to turn it off. There's another place in hell for the designers. And yet another place in hell for that voice screaming at me every 25 minutes or so that bwat pardada mishoogogo!
More accurately, early Monday morning, around 2 AM, there was a sudden BEEP and then what sounded, to my sleep stopped mind, like a walkie-talkie transmission. It was something like "bwat pardada mishoogogo." And it was loud.
I think I had been dreaming. Dreaming a disturbing dream. Now, I was awake, sort of, and frozen. What the hell was that.
I got up to see if there was a cruiser in my driveway. Ready to take me away.
Nothing.
Nothing the garage.
The TV was off.
So. I went back to bed. No doubt just a vivid dream sequence.
25 minutes later I was startled awake by the same thing.
45 minutes after that.....again.
I had no idea what was going on. I was exhausted and confused. I suspected the smoke detector, but couldn't figure out what was happening. Of course now I was smelling gas and hearing noises. Crap.
I turned on the ceiling fan in the living room and closed my bedroom door.
Sure enough, a little while later (time was now irrelevant), I could hear it again: "BEEP bwat pardada mishoogogo".
And that was it.
I work at home, so expected to hear the same thing during the day if it was the smoke detector complaining.
Sure did too. At 1 AM.
This time I got up and waited until I heard it again. Yup. The smoke detector. What it was actually saying was "BEEP battery low " and then the french for that. I couldn't make out the french.
So, no problem, I'll change the battery.
3 problems.
1. The detector is on a vaulted ceiling, out of reach of a simple chair. The ladder is frozen, in the garage. No matter, I'll stretch.
2. The battery cover doesn't just open....it seems to be locked into place by the hard-wiring cover. I can just pry it a little.
3. Now that I've pried the cover up a little, I can see it's a 9-volt battery. To the battery drawer! Yeah. None of those. And not a single device in the house takes a 9-volt except that bloody detector.
Next evening.
Ladder brought inside in the morning so it's warmed up. Battery purchased from CDN tire. Cover pried up enough to coax the battery out and replace it.
Now I wait. I wait for early early in the morning. If it decided to complain about bwat pardada mishoogogo tonight, I have my wire cutters handy.
There is a special place in hell for the people who would have this go off in the middle of the night, and have no way to turn it off. There's another place in hell for the designers. And yet another place in hell for that voice screaming at me every 25 minutes or so that bwat pardada mishoogogo!
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